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Sunday, 3 November 2013

Rise in number of Hampstead Jews seeking professional help for dating woes


Dating guru Johnny Cassell in Hampstead. Picture: Nigel SuttonDating guru Johnny Cassell in Hampstead. Picture: Nigel Sutton

Friday, November 1, 2013 
2:00 PM


A professional dating coach has claimed business is booming in Hampstead and Highgate because more and more Jewish men are struggling to find love and are in need of his specialist help.

Johnny Cassell, who charges up to £12,000 for his expert guidance, says there has been a huge upswing in demand from lonely men who want training in how to attract women.

And he says most of them are from the affluent Jewish community, where social anxiety, intense family pressures and a sense of entitlement often combine to hamper their romantic efforts.

Mr Cassell, 25, who claims to have helped more than 1,000 men in nearly four years as a dating trainer, said: “I’ve noticed a big increase in demand in Hampstead, especially among Jewish men.

“Lately, I always seem to be going back to the area and I’m doing one-to-one coaching with at least five guys at the moment.”

Mr Cassell, who travels the world to give masterclasses in places such as Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Amsterdam, offers one-off sessions for £750, intensive seven-day courses priced at £4,000, or a programme of regular meetings spread over 12 months that costs £12,000.

He says he sees the same issues creating romantic barriers for most of his Hampstead clients.

“One of the things that holds them back is a sense of self-entitlement, which means they can come across as quite arrogant,” he said. “Many have been wrapped in cotton wool most of their lives – everything has just come to them and they don’t know how to go out and get what they want.

“The whole family side of things also causes difficulties: the pressure to find a Jewish girl, that’s very hard for the guys. Social anxiety is also a big one.

“They should be aware that there’s help out there. It might seem a bit unconventional – but it works.”

Mr Cassell believes he can teach any man to successfully approach women.

He insisted he does not teach pick-up “tricks”, but focuses on understanding psychology and “social dynamics”.

He added that there is no reason why romantic “competence” should not be viewed as something that can be taught and improved with practice.

One of his clients over the past few months has been a Jewish stockbroker from Hampstead, who did not wish to be named. The 35-year-old, a former pupil of Highgate School in North Road, Highgate, said he is reaping the rewards of applying his new-found romantic skills “in the field” on Hampstead Heath and in Hampstead Village.

He said: “I think a lot of Jewish men from north London are too nice and don’t have that instinct to introduce themselves.

“I was never able to have much success with women before, but now it’s 1,000 times better and it has improved my happiness in general.”

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